Leaving.

Subject: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:14 am

I apologize for the way I've been acting. It's just that everyday is a living hell. It's just that I needed a place where I could be big, and confident, a place where I was the boss. I haven't found that here. To summarize: I'm thinking of killing myself.

I know I'm affluent, but it's just that everyday I dread. I guess, it all started when I transfered to a new school 4 years ago. I was terribly shy which made me an outcast. I spent most of my time alone. Until, I tied a sport to gain friends; it didn't work. All it resulted in was me getting embarrassed. So, to make"friends" I retreated to the cyber world on a place called Habbo. I became addicted in months. School started again and my mom got her credit card bill. I bought Habbo membership. She chastised me andnever trusted me again. Now, she forgiven me. But, I still regret ever acting so impetuously and upsetting my mother.

I tried making friends at school by becoming "athletic". The thing every boy should be to be liked. It didn't work out. All that happen was me being embarrassed.The Next year, school didn't get so bad. But, my mom out of nowhere put me in this school. This "private school" shields nerds from real school. I hate it there. I am so worried because I'm afraid my mom's going to make me do highschool there. I talk to some of my school friends on MSN. They done so much, they are so different from I remember they have changed. yet, my progression has stinted because of this stupid school. These past 2 years have been a farce. I haven't done anything but, befriend nerdy and some autistic kids. And now, I've become one of them.

I haven't left the house in 6 months because their was an incident at my house where my dad was trying to beat me and I ran away from home and went to one of brother's friend's house. I was brought back home with the cops and the whole neighbourhood saw and laughed. With black people you when you're about to get beat you take it and cry later. My whole neighbourhood saw and thinks I'm a freak. So, does my brother's friend's parents. They don't want him to come to our house anymore. It's my fault.
My own relatives think I'm weird because last Christmas I wasn't ready to talk to them and I was watching a show in my basement and they thought I've turned weird. I'm not the average black kid. I'm different. I like rock music, I do pretty weird stuff like I watch anime to black people it's weird. I can't understand my brothers, because they use slang.

Now, I'm coped up at home everyday talking to my 8 year old brother becuase I have no friends. I can't go outside. I hate my life so much. I over eat constantly. And now, since ym mom shut off my TV. I mainly lounge around the house feeling sorry for myself. A person like me doesn't belong in highschool. So, I'm planning to end my life this year. But, I know I won't do it.

That's all.
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Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:25 am

You control your life. If you're forced into a situation, make the best of it. Make friends where you are; it's always possible. If your father abuses you, call the authorities, otherwise you don't care badly enough for him to stop. If that family that is a friend to your brother rejected you like you say, they aren't very nice people and it's best to stay away from them anyway.

It's always possible to make friends, you just have to try, and no offense, but this doesn't help. Complaining online will solve nothing, and what you need is friends in real life. This new school may be bad, so try to convince your mom to let you change. Otherwise, just make the best of what you have. Oh, and stop talking of death. It's completely stupid, and you will go to hell for it. What's the point of ending your life to go to a place a lot worse than here? Your life will end when it needs to end. You weren't put on this earth to have a terrible life and kill yourself. You control your life so do something about it.

Don't be afraid to stand out, there's in nothing wrong at all. What is the point of trying to be like everyone else? Maybe you don't like the same music, so what? Maybe everyone else is weird, and you're the normal one? Be your own person, and take control of your life. Have fun. Please, just try to be happy. It's possible if you get your life in order. I know you're a good person and you're just having a bad time, and I wish you the best.
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If there is an exception to every rule, then every rule must have at least one exception, the exception to this one being that it has no exception.

Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:36 am

What Waddles said. ^^ You need to control your life for the better. Committing Sucide won't help, it would just make it worse. Just keep trying to make friends. If that doesn't work, then transfer back to your old school if you can or transfer to your new one. If you start becoming more confident about your life, you'll have a better one. If you don't, it's just going to make it worse.

Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:41 am

here's my drift. I don't belong with black people not with white.
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Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:42 am

Just keep trying. Don't give up, it's not going to help.

Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:16 am

Sorry that I was always mean to you man. I take it all back.
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Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:44 am

I believe most of it, just not the father beating part. I'm sorry for being mean to you in the past...Yeah, good luck in life. I hope you make new friends.
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Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:05 am

Wow..

Well committing suicide obviously won't solve anything..

Maybe keeping a smile on your face and thinking posotive will help you be confident to make new friends.

And there's no difference between black and white people, we're all the same and equal. I'm friends with a bunch of African American's even though I'm Asian, and hardly anyone discriminates anymore. Well what I'm trying to say is, not to be mean, but leaving is probably good. Now you have more time to focus on your life and what you're going to do with it. Good luck Wink

I like making long posts Razz

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Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:09 am

Long posts are evil...make's the reader bored...AHHH THE PAIN!
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Subject: Re: Leaving. Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:29 pm

^^^Useless info lol
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